I’m really starting to wonder if this whole school/playgroup thing is worth it for Aaron. He loves it. I love having one morning a week to myself to do grown up things like shower when it’s light out and pee with the bathroom door closed. Let’s be real. What is he really getting out of two and a half hours a week? A WEEK. He’s supposed to be getting speech and occupational therapies there. Are they really helping? He only gets one at a time. I haven’t noticed any difference in his speech. Everything is still so very scripted. I’ve asked what we can do at home to help, but I don’t get any real input.
The occupational therapy is supposed to be for gross motor skills. Again, I’ve asked what we can do at home, and I’ve gotten nothing. Of course I also didn’t know he really had an issue in this department since he’s pretty good outside playing baseball, soccer, and football. Sure he’s not spectacular at catching, but neither is his 9yo brother. I know that because Aaron doesn’t want to ride a bike, that’s seen as an issue. It’s the whole balance, I don’t trust this thing, I just want to put my feet down thing. Really, in the grand scheme of things, how important is riding a bike? I’ve never had a job application ask me if I can ride a bike, and at what age was I able. I think we have bigger fish to fry to get this kid ready for Kindergarten.
With this playgroup/school only being one day a week, I’m not sure we’re accomplishing much. It’s what has been offered to us through the school district’s intermediate unit. I spend six days a week telling Aaron that it’s not a school day, and six days a week with a kid who’s pissed off he doesn’t have school. We have a special calendar just for him with the days he has school marked, and we check off each day. He still doesn’t get it. This month, he will be missing two weeks in a row. For a kid so steeped in routine, it’s getting to be more torturous than helpful. Now I’m stuck with the decision to tell them “thanks, but no thanks because you’re just not offering enough. Call us when the next year starts.” OR we stick with it, and I slowly lose my sanity in the process by starting each day telling my kid “No, you don’t have school today, see? You go on Friday.” And my personal favorite, “No, there’s no school this week. See? You go in 3 weeks. (or whenever it is they go again)” KILLING me.
Parents of kids on the spectrum, what do you think? Would you continue, or tell them to shove their 2 1/2 hours a week?
I’d continue and then demand more. 2.5 a week? Typical kids are in preschool 2-3 days a week! Special kids need MORE. Is there a local preschool that he can attend for 2-3 days a week? Ask to see proof that he’s meeting benchmarks because that is just ridonkulous.
DEMAND MORE. He needs it.
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Why is it only 2.5 hours? Is that all they have openings for? Are their other preschool options? I don’t think that’s much time for anyone, on the spectrum or not. I would push for more time, or switch schools.
I do know part of it is that Aaron still naps and most kids his age don’t, so it’s hard to get him into a morning class with kids his age. BUT, this is also from an IU who identified he needed speech help, but left him sit with NOTHING (because he was flagged for a full evaluation) until I pushed and pushed, and maybe brought up how in the wrong they were to do that. I think the most frustrating is that when I ask what we can do at home I get nothing. This is all new territory for me. They assume since our oldest is also ASD that we know, but we don’t. He wasn’t dx’d until age 8 1/2, and he doesn’t need the same services. Aaron is totally different on so many levels.
Gosh that is a tough one. You know your child not them. When my youngest was two he was not talking yet. The doctor and I argued about speech therapy and he discussed how he would be ready for school and needed to start prepping now. I explained to him that my first started talking late, now I cant get him to shut up and he is top 5 in his class. The doc wouldnt listen and set up the speech appointments, I didnt go.
Three months later my son was talking exactly like I knew he would. His words are perfect too. Obviously is he went way overdue I would have gotten professionals involved but we had not hit that point yet. I just had to be confident in my judgement call and put my foot down. It was nice to say I told you so. You are a good mom and know your child, do what you think is best for your family.
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At first I was going to say that you should stick with it because he loves it and you love to pee with the door closed (pssssh. priorities) but the torture during all the rest of the days might just outweigh whatever benefits there are. I agree that you should demand more. Why can’t you have more? My son was in preschool 5 days/week for 3 hours/day when he was 3 1/2
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what a shitty situation
I’m sorry things can’t be more beneficial for you guys. Maybe it’s worth it just for the ‘play’ time?
It is really hard when you run up against a wall like this and others are not willing to give the help or resources you need. I am in the same place with my two oldest. We had Josh’s ADHD pretty managed and all of a sudden it seems things are getting worse again.
Jordan has a learning disability and the worst teacher ever. The school won’t help at all. I really hope you can get it all figured out for Aaron.
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