It doesn’t happen very often, but I was offended this morning by a site I saw posted on Facebook. It’s a site that posts pictures of children other people deem to big to be riding in strollers (I’m not linking and giving them traffic). There was also a comment about needing a site for kids too big for pacifiers. With April being Autism Awareness Month, this really struck me.
My oldest had low muscle tone. His legs would get fatigued even to go to the mall and walk from one end to the other. He was within the height and weight limits, so he rode in our stroller on such trips and others where a lot of walking would be required until we had our second child when he was 5 1/2 years old. We didn’t know we were dealing with autism at the time. All we knew was that we had a child who clearly got fatigued, and had sensory issues.
Our second child who is now 4, still occasionally rides in the stroller. He is approaching the upper limits at 4ft tall, but there are a few times the stroller is still needed. He also still has a pacifier. It’s a sensory thing for him. We’ve tried all other kinds of “chewies” for him. No others are acceptable. Rather than have my child sticking other objects in his mouth, like toys, that are unacceptable to chew on, we choose to let him keep the pacifier for when he needs the sensory input. Its usage is decreasing as he gets older, but he still needs it more than your nypical (See: Be Different by John Elder Robison. I like his word “nypical” instead of “neurotypical”) 4 year old. This is the same child who has also always been WAY taller than his peers. Just because he looks 6, don’t expect him to act as such. He’s 4. Not almost 5, just 4.
If more people would worry less about what other parents are doing or not doing when the safety of the child is not in imminent danger, and pay more attention to their own kids and spread some more kindness and understanding, the world would be a much better place. If you take nothing else away from Autism Awareness Month, I hope that it’s that you’re not so quick to judge some parenting styles that you deem to be outside of your box, or what is deemed as the nypical box.
About Amanda
That makes me mad too. My 3 1/2 year old (also with ASD) needs the stroller quite often because he’s a runner and if he’s not strapped in I’m scared we’ll lose him.
People shouldn’t make judgements without knowing the whole situation.
Christy´s last [type] ..Both Sides- Autism and Discipline- The Everyday Battles
James is going to be 16 in July and he still uses a pacifier. He had to use it to learn to breath through the oxygen tubes. Now its more of comfort thing and helps him sleep at night. SO. Don’t feel bad there mama…I understand. (((HUGS)))
Christine Mack´s last [type] ..Go Green to Save Green Event- Seeds of the Month
you hit the nail on the head when you said ‘kindness’ why can’t people just be nice?
Well said!!
People always stick their noses in and choose to comment when already stressed parents just don’t need it.
Sarah´s last [type] ..… And at least I can laugh at myself
I wrote a post like this not too long ago. It seems that everyone is more concerned with policing and judging everyone else’s parenting that they don’t stop to consider the circumstances. For instance, a lot of people take for granted how hard it can be to have four children all only a few years apart. They figure that since it is simple for them to control their one or two children with no behavior disorders, that it should be easy for someone with four children to do the same. This is not so. You would not believe the looks I get in public when I scold one of the boys. Everyone needs to mind their own business until they can find no fault in themselves.
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I TOTALLY agree. A little different, but a lot of people talk to Jillian like she’s deaf (or a baby) and when she answers them in complete sentences it shocks them. I kinda like seeing that shock effect. And I totally agree that people need to be KINDER, we don’t know the whole story. Stop jumping to assumptions.
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