I don’t think I’ve met a special needs parent who hasn’t been given the “Welcome to Holland” poem. I get the point of the poem. I really do. The tone of it has never sat well with me. Quite frankly, Holland can suck it.
It seems like just when we get into a groove and get a feel for what our new “norm” is, we get kicked in the gut. That happened to me yesterday. Our Intermediate Unit decided that my 4yo had “moderate autism.” (Yes, I know about the school dx’ing, just go with me here) The docs all signed off on it to get my son services that he needs. They knew there would probably be wait lists, and the sooner we could get going, the better. We got to the point where he needs medication (I’m not going to debate this. You do what’s right for your family). The medication is not working. The neurologist now wants an actual DSM diagnosis so she knows exactly what she’s working with. Of course I wasn’t going to complain because I knew this was something that needed to be done before he starts Kindergarten.
After MANY phone calls to find someone who will not only take a 4yo, but also take Tricare, I found someone with an opening. I made the appointment. I was thinking, “this is a walk in the park,” because we already know he’s more affected than his Aspie brother.
I was not prepared.
Holland can suck it.
I was told I have two kids on opposite ends of the spectrum. It just happens that my 4yo has diarrhea of the mouth. Upon further examination, he mostly scripts (we kinda knew this), and he really doesn’t care what you say to him (this we didn’t realize so much). It turns out that as his parents, we care. We answer his endless bombardment of questions with correct answers. The psych didn’t always do this. She tested to see if he just wanted a response, any response, or if he wanted a meaningful response.
He just wants any response.
Our illusion of communication and conversation was shattered.
I was told I did good to hold my ground against the school to keep him in services and not mainstream him this fall. It was also suggested that maybe he needs the autism school for Kindergarten next year.
Autism school.
I wasn’t prepared for those words.
A year is a long time. We can work hard.
I’ve had my doubts about Kindergarten myself since it’s an all day program here, but still. I wasn’t prepared.
As much as I’ve learned in the last 18 months, I wasn’t prepared for the kick in the gut I got yesterday.
Holland can suck it.
HUGS!!! Nate sounds alot like your son in the converstation department. Does he echo the same thing over and over? we deal with that as well. Hang in there!
Oh YES! The repeating is I think the most annoying trait of this all.
If it’s any consolation, my 9-year-0ld Aspie had a big problem with echolalia, mostly speaking in the voices of TV characters, around ages 3-4, probably exacerbated by the arrival of the younger sibling and just pure excitement that she could talk in a way that people could understand and that got her attention. She’s completely outgrown it except for the occasional intentional wry pop culture reference, and does well in school. Please don’t be discouraged by a single visit to a single doctor who, after all, is human and is a new experience for your son. The prediction may be accurate, or like weather forecasts, you may laugh when you look back on it. Keep answering your son’s questions whether you’re sure he’s listening to you or not, keep your knowing eye on what school situation best meets his needs, and he will continue to thrive with you.
It sucks when we hear things we don’t want nor ready for. Add that what we are hearing may have a chance to be wrong or not quite in the right direction throws a whole new wizzles through our all ready too full of terms/dx’s ect! talk about a headache brewing! I think you are doing the best you can for any parent esp in your position. Just keep your children & your self in the top of priorities.
Keep Hanging in there kiddo!
Know what you mean- Holland sucks and so do the professionals who tell us all the bad news about our sweet babies. Stay strong! It’s gotta get better from here, right? Hugs to you.
I’m sorry. I get that gut kick completely. Especially when you’re thinking one thing…going through this myself with our youngest. Have his parent meeting tomorrow morning (follow up to his developmental evaluation last week). I keep thinking they’ll say it’s just speech issues but I know have to be prepared for something else.
Since you’ve been thru this, I don’t have to day all the silver lining platitudes like at least you’re finding this out now, and the earlier the better, and all that. I will say that you’re a pretty incredible and dedicated mom to push as hard as you have for him to get what he needs. he’s lucky he has you for his mom.
And yeah, Holland can suck it.
Ugh, I’m sorry to hear it. I feel like a diagnosis is the beginning of this long path where you don’t even know what you’re dealing with, not to mention what you can expect. And I worry with an early diagnosis we’re only in a holding pattern until they’re old enough to get more specific additional diagnoses.
I am all for anger and venting at this stage. Do it whenever you need to. Let’s go to war with stupid Holland.