Hi there. It’s been awhile. I’ve wanted to write. I really have. You see, I seem to have lost my voice. I’ve been so incredibly disappointed in so many people who I’ve had dealings with, that I just didn’t know what to write anymore.
You see, I’m an autism parent. It seems these days that automatically makes me a bigot and full of privilege. I’m not allowed to speak anymore about what it’s like to raise two autistic boys for if I do, I am wrong. Everything I say about autism is now wrong because I am an autism parent.
Then you have the information I’ve received where it turns out I’m not really different from my boys at all. But you see, I’m not allowed to disclose that to anyone because then I’m just using that information to be a bully because I don’t agree with everyone. I’m not allowed to have opinions of my own and be like my boys and be an autism parent. It rips a hole in the space time continuum or something.
And our government and military are disappointing wherever I turn lately. Respite is still a clusterfuck. Oh wait, I’m not allowed to talk about respite. That’s exercising my privilege. At any rate, we don’t have it again, and it’s an offered service, and we need it. I’m drowning. My kids are giving ME sensory overload, and I need a break. There. I said it.
We’re facing sequestration because politicians who are overpaid and out of touch in DC can’t stop acting like petulant toddlers and just compromise for once. These politicians have no idea what this means for our military families like mine. The ones they claim to hold in such high esteem. The ones that their actions tell us they really don’t care what happens to us or the rest of the country as long as they continue to get their pay and benefits.
So you see, I’ve just been disappointed in everyone across all my worlds lately as a whole. It really puts a damper on the writing process.
Instead, I’ve been putting the majority of my efforts into the boys’ schooling. As it should be. They’re happy. They’re learning things they wouldn’t be learning in brick and mortar school like deductive reasoning. It’s amazing to watch them grow and learn even if it means I have to step outside my comfort zone sometimes. The boys are thriving, and I really can’t ask for more. The rest? Well, I suppose I can’t change everyone, so I’ll just work on my own little corner of the world a better place.
About Amanda
It shouldn’t be this hard to get the help and respite you need. There is nothing wrong with saying you need a break. I think it makes you an awesome – and realistic – parent.
I am glad you are writing again.
Every parent needs a break sometime! And it is okay to say that! I hope you get the break you need.
Wishing and hoping you would ge the support and the break you need. SOON! I hope you’ll continue to speak up, speak out…speak your truth.
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preach it.
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I just think… stop complaining. I’m really not trying to be rude, but I deal with disappointing people many times a day, every day. Most of us do. But we need to keep going and figure out how to deal with the situation at hand. We can’t let others stop us from using our voice and getting things done. This is your blog – say what you want! If people don’t agree with it, who cares?
I just think…if you don’t like what you’ve read, move on. No need to leave an unkind message behind.
OK, I think she just did say what she wanted. I think your comment was a little rude.
Comments like this are exactly my point. No matter what I say or do right now, it’s wrong. Compassion and empathy are lost arts.
I love this. These are all of the reasons I stopped blogging too. I chronically keep journals… which is nothing more than blogging.. just not sharing it with people. (we haven’t had respite in 6 1/2 years. We not name that time when the kids go to bed, and the hour we can keep our eyes open.. that’s our respite lol) Occasionally I think to share a post or two.. but not ready for THAT yet. Glad to hear your corner of the world is doing ok. Sometimes, we all need to step back and get perspective. Others, just think they’re perfect.
As a mother to a child with epilepsy, trust me you are not alone! I just wanted to let you know there are many of us out there that feel just like you do! Keep your chin up you sound like a fabulous parent!
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You are doing great at communicating your stressors. Go girl– !!!!!!!!!!!!!