My husband gets home from work. He knows by my state of dress (true pajamas, not even yoga pants) that it’s a bad day. I’m laying on the couch tweeting from my phone because I’m letting the 5yo play Mario Kart just so I can rest a bit. My husband knows that I’m most likely not cooking dinner before he even asks. The question then remains, does he cook? Do we get take out? Or do we just go somewhere that has a kids’ night?

Often we opt for take out. There is a hoagie shop that one time I lost the dance, I clocked the mileage at 0.6 miles from our house. I had to laugh when I found out how far it is from the house because we often end up playing rock, paper, scissors to decide who goes to get the food. If I’m really feeling that poorly, my husband will just go. I’ve been fortunate to not have too many of those days lately, but at the same time it means that I have to negotiate to be the one to stay home.

0.6 miles. That’s our hoagie dance. What kind of dance do you share?

I’ve been wanting a second opinion on my fibromyalgia for awhile, but rheumatologists that will accept my insruance in this area are few and far between. When I got a referral to one two years ago, there was only one practice, out of two, that was even accepting new patients.

After I obtained my referral, drove an hour, found the doctor’s office, I was dismissed as a tired mom that just needed a sleep study. Wait? What? That’s IT? I was highly disappointed. Mostly I was disappointed at how quickly I was dismissed, and a sleep study was totally out of the question at that point. My youngest child would not go to bed without me being home. Not.at.all.

So I never got the sleep study. Since then, I’ve seen an endocrinologist who saw me for my thyroid. It’s pretty enlarged. He was also pretty dismissive. I got the “Yep, it’s enlarged, nothing looks cancerous, and you need a sleep study.” Wait? What? But I don’t snore. Not since I had my tonsils out.

Now two doctors have dismissed my increasing pain and muscle spasms as being related to not sleeping well and I need a sleep study. I became convinced that this was just their new diagnostic toy. Not only that, but I’m not sure how accurate a sleep study will be since I’ll freely admit I’m a chicken. Too chicken to get my deviated septum fixed.

Enter the chance to test drive 2nd.MD. I thought, what could it hurt? I mean, what’s the worst that would happen? I’d get told I need a sleep study? It turns out, that’s exactly what happened, but not in the condescending manner as I’ve previously experienced. The rheumatologist I conversed with didn’t treat me like I was dumb, but rather that I actually had a brain I was capable of using. It was a nice change of pace. He also suggested I get my vitamin D level checked.

So, I guess I need to get over my fear of my previous nose surgery and get the work done on my nose that was suggested to me eight years ago. Back then I was told even then I may only gain 30% usage of my right nostril the way the anatomy of my nose is, but who knows what procedures and technology are out there now. Then I’ll have that sleep study, but I don’t see the point of it when I know my nose needs work whether I’m actively snoring now or not.

With 2nd.MD, you can ask a doctor if they think they can help you before you try to book an appointment with them, which is nice. You can also search for a doctor by symptom or by specialty. If you don’t have a web cam, it’s OK, you can request your consult by phone. There are a lot of options available, and I think it’s a great resource for second opinions when you already have test results and blood work in your possession. I do wish there were more daytime hours for those of us who stay home so that I could do my appointment while my family was at work and school instead of hiding in the bedroom while my husband tried to keep the kids downstairs.

Thank you again to 2nd.MD for sponsoring this blog post. Please click here to learn more about 2nd.MD. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective. All opinions are my own. #Clever2ndMD #spon

Then Fall comes. When the summer hasn’t been dry, the leaves turn magnificent colors. Here on post, we’re labeled an Arbor City, USA (something like that because of all the trees). I love to walk around and take pictures of the leaves. What Mother Nature is doing with all the pretty leaves is trying to make you forget she’s having hot flashes. It’s almost 90 degrees one day, then the next day it’s barely 70 degrees. Nights are hovering around 50-ish. There are 20-30 degree temperature swings in the course of one day, then also across our high temperatures over the course of a week as the thermometer goes up and down at Mother Nature’s will.

Inside, the house is in chaos. We can’t yet pout away shorts and sandals because it might be 80 degrees yet. At the same time our weather report for the day may read 60 degrees and rainy, so out come the jeans, sweatshirts, and rainboots. When you live in housing coined with the name “Smurf Village,” there just isn’t room for all of these things for the whole family.

Then the weather outside seems to decide it’s going to stay cool, Fall-like, and rainy. Then the migraines come as the various fronts move through with the highs and lows bringing in and pushing out the rain. The joints start to get achy. The trigger points in muscles start to knot up again. I cope with yoga, Aleve, the chiropractor, Biofreeze, and hot showers. Then the hot showers start to aggravate the eczema because the heat is on and the air in the house is drier. Can’t we just find a happy medium? This almost makes me wish for Winter. At least then it’s consistently cold without all the ups and downs.

Then I get a couple days where I’m feeling pretty fine. I feel like I can take on the world after a bout with a migraine from hell, muscle spasms that weren’t for the weak, and kids who have been behaving like there are no rules like Cabo during Spring Break. I decide to deep clean the house and rearrange some furniture. I realize now that moving that 200 pound piece by myself wasn’t a great idea. It didn’t seem hard at the time (adrenaline makes you do bad things), but I’m certainly paying for it now.

Is it Summer again yet?

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The Dinner DanceA Second Fibromyalgia Opinion

Zach was born June 24, 2001. You see my dilemma? And my pregnancy and Zach’s birth weren’t all a walk in the emotional park. I don’t have it in me today to type it all out again, but you can read Zach’s birth story if you like. My pregnancy with Zach was also when I realized something was wrong with my body. I was SO tired and SO achy ALL the time. My doctor told me it was just part of being pregnant, but I just knew what I was experiencing was more extreme than what most women go through. I just had that hunch that something wasn’t right. I got to say “I told you so,” when I got my fibromyalgia diagnosis 4 months after Zach was born. It seems my OB wanted to conveniently ignore the fact that for about 2 months before I got pregnant I was sleeping 12-14 hours a day, and any less sleep left me feeling like I had never slept at all.

Now that Zach’s older, we have his oppositional defiant disorder to deal with. I’m still not convinced that’s the correct or total diagnosis, but that’s the one the doctors seem to want to stick with. June makes my anxiety flare up because it’s the end of his school year and I have him home 24/7. It’s very stressful when you have to put more time and energy into parenting your 8 year old than your 2 year old. I can’t even leave the room when they’re both awake to go load the dishwasher or throw a load of laundry in. Making meals is hugely stressful when I’m here by myself during the day with the boys. Aaron, my toddler will sit and play quietly with his toys for 5, 10, sometimes even 20 minutes. He has a couple of favorite tv shows that he’ll sit and watch while I go scrub the bathroom. Zach has NEVER been like this. He’s the child that I go pee and come back and he’s already gotten the Sharpie I had on the very tippy top shelf and written on the furniture or walls. Now that he has a brother, he’s taken to antagonizing him. I constantly have to watch him, and quite frankly, it gets exhausting.

And now since my sister got married in June, we have her anniversary to celebrate. It’s a date that I hope remains joyous for her for the rest of her life, and it’s a happy date to add to our calendar as well.

So you can see June is just an emotional month for me, and coupled with some of the events of this year, it’s left me feeling particularly vulnerable this time around.

I’ve looked for support groups in my area, but I can’t find any. There’s plenty for people with arthritis, but I don’t have arthritis. So now I’m in search of a good online group. A place to piss, moan, and commiserate, but not whine. There is a difference. Unfortunately I’ve found a lot of groups to be filled with whiners. Back to your regular scheduled blogging while I go pop more ibuprofen and curl up on the couch with my really soft fleece blanket that now feels like 100 grit sandpaper.