1. I ordered the letters from StickerYou choosing the style and color I wanted.

2. They came in the mail. I waited so I could see exactly what color the blue was that I chose so I could match it to the rest of the project.

3. I made a trip to the craft store. I purchased a 24″x18″ frame, wall decals, a roll of paper, and Cars scrapbooking Chipboard pieces.

4. I measured the paper and cut a piece for the frame.

5. I measured and applied the wall decals trying to center them.

6. I applied the StickerYou letter stickers for Aaron’s name.

7. I decorated the rest of the paper with the Cars chipboard pieces.

8. I erased my pencil lines and put the finished product in the frame to hang.

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Now before I give you yesterday’s “breakthrough,” let me give you the back story. My kids are almost 10 and 4. With a 5 1/2 year age difference, of course it’s perceived that the older boy has just the most awesomest toys ever. We’ve had some great weather for playing outside lately, and my older son has been seen by his younger brother playing “Nerf Wars” with friends. The 4yo wants in on that action. Mean Mom refuses to buy said 4yo a Nerf gun of his own, until she got the brilliant idea of the tiny ones at the Target check out – IF he poops on the potty (another delay for him).

Here’s how yesterday afternoon went down:

We were checking out and I was buying one of those teeny Nerf guns to have on hand because I know he will want it as soon as he poops in the potty. Also for incentive since he can see it.

(In the car – thankfully)

A: “I want the gun!”

Me: “Well then poop in the potty.”

A: “I REALLY want that gun!”

Me: “You need to poop in the potty first like a big boy. Only big boys get to play with the Nerf guns.”

A: “THAT’S BULLSHIT!”

So a special needs mother’s dilemma: Do you reprimand for inappropriate things said, or praise for the fact that he responded in the conversation appropriately?

I’ll tell you what I did. I tried not to let him see me laughing my ass off, and told him that was an inappropriate word to say.

Ok, enough of that. It’s April. It’s Month of the Military Child. We have kids whose parents were worried this week and are now all breathing a collective sigh of relief. Since our national parks being open seems to be the focus, take your kids out, and have fun this weekend. I know we’re supposed to have nice weather here.

-There’s also a writing contest for military kids where they can try to win a NOOK, among other cool prizes.

-Don’t forget free tutoring from Tutor.com for military kids as well if your child is struggling in school. Studies have shown that children of deployed soldiers, especially those gone for 18 months or more show a dip in academic performance.

-About 1 in 88 military kids are on the autism spectrum. There are approximately 1.7 million military kids. That’s a concentrated population of about 20,000 kids on the autism spectrum. We need better services for them, Tricare.

-April is also Autism Awareness Month. Have you done anything this month to try and be more aware of those around you? I’m betting that those in the military, if not everyone, knows someone with a child on the spectrum.

Sometimes when we’re out in public and both boys are acting up, I wish they had huge neon flashing signs above their heads to let people know what the deal is. Why my 9 year old, whom most would think would know better, is running his hand along the shelves. Why he keeps antagonizing his brother. Why just in general my kids are acting like they’re 5 and 2 even though they’re 9 and 4.

Appearances set an expectation. Because my 9 year old looks his age, people expect him to act accordingly. My 4 year old looks 6 because he’s very tall. People expect him to act older than his age. Sometimes the looks we get…I know they’re judging my parenting, but I honestly don’t care anymore. I’m just doing the best I can with the tools I have. When my husband is with me, and the boys are having a particularly stimmy time, the looks are even worse.

The comments don’t help either. I admit, being pretty sarcastic by nature, I’m not one to usually let these comments go without a smart remark.

“Wow, they’re all boy, aren’t they?”
“Yes, last I knew they both still had penises, thank you.”

“You sure have your hands full, don’t you?”
(Looking at my hands) “Nope, they’re empty”

“I don’t know how you do it.”
“I don’t know any different.”

“Bless you.”
“Did I sneeze?”

I get that some people are trying to understand, but read an article, a book, something on autism, because I think the one phrase that grates on me most is “My kids do that too.” Really? Your days are spent as one giant OCD routine that’s not your own? Meals have to be certain foods made a certain way? You encounter meltdowns if you say you’re going to the grocery store and then drive a different route? You have to shop in certain stores and make sure your child tries EVERYTHING on because some clothes just don’t feel right? You’ve had a child meltdown because the meat fell out of their sandwich because they couldn’t problem solve to just put it back in – at 4, 5, 6 years old? You’ve had a child decide he’s not eating melted foods, to include melted cheese? You and your husband have to stand in the same exact spots each night to hug your child or the routine is lost? You have a 4yo who is barely sleeping through the night – for the first time ever in his life? I really could go on and on, but I think you get the point.

Just because my kids don’t look different doesn’t mean they are the same as yours.

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-The boys seemed to have regressed behaviorally. I blame that full moon. It’s not been fun.

-At the same time, our youngest has finally caught on to using the potty. Yay! It’s only going to cost us a small fortune in Squinkies , but if in the end we’re done with pullups – YAY!

-The Fridays where both boys are in school were supposed to be my time. It’s turning into my time to run errands. I’m on a mission to reclaim my Friday mornings, even if I only sit and play Zuma Blitz for an hour (that game taunts me).

-Aaron’s paperwork was faxed to ECHO! This means we are in the final stages to getting ABA therapy for him. I can then also see about getting respite care for both boys. Respite care. Those are two lovely, lovely words.

-Spring semester is, like every year, balls to the wall. This means my husband is working more than usual. This also means when he’s home, I’m often off running errands I need to get done since we’re still a once car household. Both of us are constantly either working, caring for kids, or running errands. By commencement/commissioning, we’re going to collapse.

-Mother Nature and Punxatawney Phil can suck it. I’ve had half a migraine for several days, but I’m trying to conserve my rescue meds for only when absolutely necessary. Same with my fibromyalgia. I was doing so well, but it’s time to go talk long term pain management. Aleve just isn’t cutting it anymore. Stupid weather. Where’s global warming when you need it?

-Congress felt the need to go on Spring break even though we STILL don’t have a budget for this fiscal year that started last October. I’m looking now to see who’s up for re-election in 2012. This is ridiculous. I think they need a panel of moms who routinely do household budgets, clip coupons, etc. to do our government budget.

-It’s almost IEP time. I need to start preparing myself for planning for a 5th grader. FIFTH GRADE! Where did the time go? I feel old now. I still remember being in 5th grade.

-I found out that we can get Aaron more speech and OT through our insurance if the doctor will write a letter stating that what the school district is currently providing is not enough. I really hope she writes that letter, and services are granted by the Tricare gods that be.

-I went through our clothes this week. We donated six black garbage bags full. I got rid of four of our moving boxes. It’s amazing how much the kids have grown in the short time since we moved. Aaron has gone from a size 2T to a 6 in 2 1/2 years! If he has any skills, they’re going to be recruiting him for basketball as soon as he’s old enough to play. Zach has done a good bit of growing too. He went from a size 6/7 to a 10/12. No more only growing 1-2″ a year. It does my heart good to see the kids thrive.

I think I’ve bored you enough for one day. How was your week?

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Here’s my take: if it’s not a safety issue, who cares? I had one child who gave up his binky easily. I have another who is 4 years old, and still needs that oral sensory input.

Have we tried to do away with the binky? Sure. Has anything we’ve tried worked? No. And don’t tell me that I just don’t want to listen to my child fuss and that’s why I haven’t worked harder to take it away. To that I say, “How about we just cut off your thumb sucker’s thumb?” It’s a whole new ball game when it’s a sensory thing vs. only a comfort object.

Oh, and his teeth? Just fine thank you. Our dentist (who has no financial gain from braces) is of the mind that until their adult teeth come in, thumb sucking and binkies are just fine.

I feel as a parent of two autistic boys, and one who also has ADD, we have bigger things to worry about right now than some little ol’ binky. Before you judge, you may want to remember that you don’t know the whole story.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

Waiting for the doctor.

I’ve told the doctors from day one that I’m lactose intolerant, and so is my 9yo. I’ve also read that in some people a lactose issue can make them constipated, not the other way around. My kid has pretty much been constipated since birth. He’s had milk products pretty much since birth because I can tolerate some things, so even while breastfeeding, my diet was not lactose free. He projectile vomited breast milk. It was all chalked up to his reflux and being a preemie.

Why was it ruled out before the stool testing? There was no distinct pattern to his reactions and foods he ate. The biopsies from both endoscopies showed no lactose issues, BUT the thing about these biopsies is they take a piece of tissue the size of an M&M or smaller, and if they don’t happen to grab a piece of tissue affected, then of course the results will be negative. Blood allergy tests showed nada. Patch testing showed nothing either. I think patch testing is a bunch of crap personally. They take the offending foods, and put a piece of it on your child’s skin and leave it under these discs for a few days then measure the reaction at 3 days then 5 days. All that tells them is if your child’s skin is sensitive to that food. It does NOT tell you if your child will have a systemic reaction to the food, in my opinion. My kid has eczema. His skin was more irritated by the tape to keep all those stupid discs on than anything else.

Aaron was OK, until he noticed we were in the butterfly room. He's terrified of them.

So, what’s the plan? We’re going to try some Benefiber to get him “going,” and I’m going to keep a food diary (again) to see if there isn’t a correlation even if it’s days down the road now that we have an idea of what we’re looking for and not just stabbing in the dark.

During the appointment yesterday, I was good. When the doctor mentioned lactose, I simply said, “Well, that’s totally plausible since big brother and I have issues with it.” I refrained from saying, “DUH! NO? Really? You think I could be a possibility?” You would have been proud at my restraint.

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And the Saga Continues...

So ill he blends in with the couch and pillow