Confessions from Householdsix » parenting

Let’s Try Parenting

Amanda — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 09:00:50 +0000

What has happened parenting? I see so many parents who want to be their child’s friend. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told my 9 year old that, “I’m not here to be your friend. I’m here to try and mold you into a productive member of society.” Our new neighbors have barely moved in, and already I had two little girls come to my door yesterday asking if I “wanted to buy something.” They had a board book, a pony tail holder, and some Silly Bandz. They were just trying to pick up some extra cash. There was no adult in sight, and the older of the two girls was all of four or five. The younger was maybe about three. Just walking around post, and walking up to strangers’ houses asking them if they want to buy stuff. During naptime I might add.

Yesterday must have been parents’ day off and no one told me because a little later we went over to the clinic so my older son could get his allergy shots. There was a boy who told my son he was eight. Not a parent in sight. This kid was literally climbing the walls and jumping on the furniture. It was absolutely insane. I tried to get a picture of him climbing up the wall with my phone, but he jumped down too quickly the last time before we left.

If this keeps up, I’m going to start a column on this blog called “Colonel’s Kids Gone Wild,” since that’s mostly what rank (well and LTC) lives here.

Nutritional Advice from the McDonald’s Drive Thru

Amanda — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 21:42:58 +0000

After Zach got his allergy shots today, I took the kids to McDonald’s to grab dinner. Not high on the nutritional priorities, but it’s hot, McD’s is fast, and once in awhile it won’t kill anyone. So I go through the drive thru and order. Then I pay. Then I get to the window where they give me my food. A girl leans out with the big sweet tea cups and says, “You aren’t going to give these to your kids are you? They’re like five cups of sugar each.” I said, “Yes I am. The Hi-C has just as much sugar, and also red dye which makes my kids off the charts hyper. They’re lactose intolerant, and they can’t have the milk. I’d prefer they not have soda. They don’t need Vitamin Water. So yes, I’m letting them have sweet tea, and yes, I’m letting them get the gigantic cups. Think of it as their Starbucks.” She then tried to tell me again about all the sugar in the sweet tea. So I had to explain, “I’m not exactly here because McDonald’s is known for its health food. It’s fun for the kids now and then.” I really wanted to say, “Shut up and gimme the damn tea. I’m thirsty,” because I had ordered one for myself. She kinda rolled her eyes at my health food comment, but really. You choose to question a mother giving her kids the sweet tea (albeit the gihugo cup size they offer), and not the chicken nuggets or fries? Really? Even McDonald’s salads are laden in calories (and a preservative that if you’ve had your gall bladder out will make you learn every public bathroom between the restaurant and your house). If I want to eat healthy, I’ll stay home and cook.

My Kids Think They’re Getting Soda

Amanda — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 11:36:54 +0000

I found a new product at the grocery store that we all love. No, this is not a compensated review. I’m sharing what I found because I know how hard it is to balance what we want nutritionally for our kids with their want for the junk foods they see everywhere. Juicy Juice has sparkling juices now. I searched that nutrition label high and low for added sugar and dyes. I’ve been fooled by those claims before. I couldn’t find any (I bought orange). Now, I still consider this product a treat not only because of the price, but also because it’s juice. Juice is liquid calories none of us need on a regular basis. BUT, my boys drank the sparkling orange Juicy Juice and thought they hit the jackpot because mom was allowing them to have orange soda. This is something that is generally banned from our house due to the red dye used to make it (my oldest can’t have red dye). The juice isn’t overly carbonated, so for kids who like the fizzyness of soda, but not to much like my kids will like this as well.

How My Kids Do Holidays

Amanda — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 20:05:43 +0000

My kids have decided that when they get seriously injured it will be on or very close to a holiday when the ER is at one of its busiest times. This is how we spent Friday to kick off the 4th of July weekend. We had just gotten up around 8am because I was up and down with Aaron all night. We were just settling in, getting ready to get breakfast when Aaron had to go back to his room for something. On his way back down, he fell down the last five steps or so and used his face to cushion his fall onto the hardwood floor. He was wailing. I was almost wailing too. The wailing led to puking. Outwardly I was all calm and “poor baby.” Inside I was saying “Oh shit, he puked. Possible head injury.” Zach and I threw clothes on and went to the ER.

When we got to the ER, he seemed OK, but I also know my kids don’t act ill unless there’s something bordering on them needing admitted that’s wrong. The nurse at the admitting desk asked me if I still wanted to go ahead and have him checked? Yes. He puked, and I wasn’t sure if it was from the crying or the fall. I needed to know.

We got back to a room quickly. Aaron was pissed he was in a hospital gown for the second time in three days (endoscopy was Wednesday). They checked him out. The doctor said Aaron appeared OK, but we needed a CAT scan to be sure since he puked more than once. Radiology came and we headed down to get the scan. Aaron would NOT lay down for the scan. The tech said if there was any way I could bribe Aaron he can do a scan in 3 seconds. Nope. Aaron was having NONE of it, but yet this child will sit just fine for a blood draw. Back to the room so the doctor can decide on plan B. Well their plan B was benadryl. Yeah, not with my kid. It wires my kids. Because Aaron was so adamant the first time we tried the scan, I told them that honestly, the only way they were going to get the CAT scan was if he was sedated. I know what my kid is like. So we sedated him and got the scan. We then spent almost 2 hours waiting for him to wake up.

Scan was fine. His left ear leaked while he was out. His left ear drum was leaking puss around his ear tube. Zach and I were starving. The hospital staff was fantastic. The whole time Aaron was asleep, they kept checking on us. When I had mentioned about trying to get us some food, the nurse said she’d just order us lunch. I was so grateful. We hadn’t eaten all day and it was now 12:30pm. Aaron woke up just as our food came. We ate, he ate, we were all happier, even if Aaron was groggy, and we got to go home five and a half hours later.

I cannot say enough about the doctors and staff at Carlisle Regional Medical Center. I was there by myself with the kids. The staff was so nice and just pleasant. We weren’t there 5 hours because we had to wait, but because of the course of treatment we had to take with my son. I’ve been in ERs where I’ve waited with my 3 year old (the older son at the time) 4 hours to get a staple in his head. The experience we had Friday has evolved so much from what ERs were in the past. I’ve also noticed that at Carlisle, every time we’ve had to take the boys in, they are continually trying different things to make their ER more efficient. Two cool things I noticed the ER has: One – the chart in the rooms that tells you how long you can expect to wait depending on what diagnostic procedure(s) you’ve had, and Two – when grabbing the link to the hospital, I noticed they have the ER wait time posted on their site.

My only complaint is that our area doesn’t have an urgent care clinic. Since we have military insurance and are required to use the military clinic here on post, we have no other option than the ER when our clinic is closed for holidays (or after 12pm Thursdays). For the 4th of July, we have no access to our doctors or pharmacy on post from Thursday July 1 at noon to Tuesday July 6 at 7:30am when they open again, and no doctor on call. There have been a couple times when the clinic is closed that the boys have needed urgent care, but not the full on ER. Alas, we have no other choice.

Wordless Wednesday – Tales From the Drain

Amanda — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 02:02:33 +0000

This is semi-wordless only because it left me speechless. Just when I think I’ve seen it all from the boyus, I snake a tub drain thinking I’m going to pull out a big gross wad of my hair only to get this – a bouncy ball that’s been sitting in there for months while we use Drano, and various other tools to try to unclog our slow drain.

Bing Teacher Appreciation

Amanda — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 12:16:12 +0000

Teachers can be such an integral part of a child’s life and never know it. I know I had a few during my K-12 career that may never know how much they helped me – especially during some turbulent grade 9-12 years. Teachers don’t always know what a child’s home life is like. I went to a school where a lot of the kids came from middle to upper middle class homes. We were considered the “rich and snobby” school district. Appearances aren’t everything. I was expected to be perfect at home. B’s on my report card were unacceptable to my mother. At school, the kindness of those teachers who showed me that they believed in what I could do meant so much. I didn’t have to be perfect, but they did expect me to not slack. I didn’t mind the hard work. It felt good to accomplish goals. It was even better to have someone to help me along the way who didn’t tell me how worthless I was the whole time. Honestly, if I hadn’t wanted to please my teachers, I wouldn’t have done well in school at all because I certainly didn’t care what my mother thought of me at that point in my life since nothing I ever did was good enough for her.

For my son, he may not know it, but he’s already had a teacher who has been a great asset to him. His 3rd grade teacher this year. She is the ONLY teacher he’s had so far that saw his behavior issues as more than him just being a “problem child.” She even asked me about Asperger’s at our fall parent/teacher conference. It was so refreshing to have someone who was seeing what we were seeing at home. She has truly been instrumental in his diagnosis and IEP process this year.

Bing has an education site where parents can get some tips on how to actively participate in their child’s education. Even if you’re unable to physically volunteer in your child’s classroom, there are other things you can do. I think the most important thing parents can do is read the papers your child brings home and ask your child about their day. Even if you only get one word answers to your questions, the kids care that you ask and are interested. I forgot to ask one day, and my son asked me why. We just happened to be busy and I was focused elsewhere. I said “You hardly answer me anyway.” He said, “But I like that you ask.” Now I make it a point to try and ask as soon as he comes home.

If there’s a teacher who has touched your life, tell Bing, and they will give you $5 to give to a classroom project of your choice via DonorsChoose.org. DonorsChoose is a great way for teachers to try and bridge the gap in educational funding that exists today. Teachers submit their projects they need funds for, and donors can surf and choose which projects they’d like to fund. I was given a $100 DonorsChoose giving code to try DonorsChoose out for myself. I chose to split the code between two projects, and honestly, it was hard to not give more, but I wanted each project to get a good sum towards their goal. Both projects I chose because of my oldest son. They are projects that will help kids who fidget, or learn just a little differently than other students. This is my child. He constantly fidgets, and needs something to chew on or something to do with his hands at times so he can concentrate. He is also a very visual and hands on learner. I hope both of these teachers, and all of them on DonorsChoose, get their projects fully funded. I hope you will take a few minutes out of your day to visit the Bing education site and submit your own teacher story to donate your $5.

*I wrote this review while participating in a blog tour campaign by Mom Central on behalf of Bing and a $100 DonoseChoose.org giving code to facilitate my review. Mom Central also sent me a thank-you gift certificate.

Living on Post

Amanda — Tue, 25 May 2010 22:53:46 +0000

In the Army, living on post has many advantages and disadvantages. I’d have to say that one of the biggest advantages of this post so far is that the majority of our neighbors cycle out every June. Especially this class. There is no common courtesy among the kids. Yes, I’ve become a curmudgeon. How can I teach my kids to respect other people’s property when your kids think it’s perfectly OK to leave their bikes, scooters, and other toys in my yard? Yes, there is a common area, and there is also the area immediately around my house that is considered my yard. You have a yard too. I encourage your kids to leave their crap in your yard, not mine. Tonight was the second night in a row a bike was in our driveway. Last night we were kind enough when we came home from being out to not run it over. Tonight I moved it into the street and told the gang of kids who thought it was perfectly OK to play in the street that this was the second time I’ve had a bike in my yard. Next time I take it, and they can explain to their parents where their bike is. Yes, they’re just kids, but a lot of these kids are of the pre-teen ages. I would expect that before 11 years old that your child would have some common courtesy.

And while I’m on the cons of post living, letting your 2 and 3 year olds run amok with no supervision isn’t too bright either. Just because we live on post doesn’t mean it’s safe. There are people who come on and off this installation every day that you don’t know who they are or what their intentions are. Think of all the contractors who work here. We have no idea who they are. Last weekend we came home for the second time to a girl of about 3 playing with our outdoor toys. Not an adult in sight. I’m done. From now on when I see kids that little with no adults I’m just calling the MPs. Kids under 4 are to be with a parent at all times. Ages 4-10 are to be in parents’ sight. I guess they figure after age 10 these kids have their own ID cards and can walk around post freely. Not my kids. I still think 10 is too young to go too far.

Let’s all be good neighbors and supervise our children, OK? I don’t think that’s too much to ask for parents t actually BE parents.

IEP Follow Up

Amanda — Tue, 25 May 2010 14:03:27 +0000

The process is now done for a year. Zach’s IEP has been written, and I’m OK with what was decided upon. My main goal was to meet Zach’s sensory issues for him. He really didn’t need any other curriculum changes, just needed his other needs addressed. I am disappointed that he didn’t qualify for the gifted program based on his inability to answer inference questions. The sections where it was fact question based, he scored very high. The sections with inference questions were SIGNIFICANTLY lower, thus dragging his whole score down. His teacher expressed that she’d like to see him in the gifted program, but as a parent all I can do is request that he be tested each year until his score is what they want (the numbers can change until age 12). His teacher will have more influence based on what she sees in the classroom. In the meantime, if he gets bored, he’ll just harass other students and the teacher (as he’s already done every year since Kindergarten).I will also be keeping an eye on the boredom issue. Zach is already learning that there are several tasks that take his peers much longer than it takes him to get the same result. I wish for him to aim for great things, not mediocrity.

We did have an incident last night where Zach tried to say he’ll never be good at handwriting because of his Asperger’s syndrome. I told him he still needs to practice because you can’t use a computer for everything in life. I also explained that there are several great minds that are thought to have Asperger’s syndrome, and it’s just not an excuse. I explained that while it garners him a little more understanding for some behaviors that he has to work really hard at, it’s not a reason to give up entirely.

So You Want an Army ROTC Scholarship

Amanda — Thu, 20 May 2010 13:07:01 +0000

So what do you do? Follow this list compiled byMAJ Griffiths, X/O and MS2 instructor for the Department of Military Science at Shippensburg University.

How do I apply for an Army ROTC Scholarship?? Follow these steps
1. Go to this web site: http://www.goarmy.com/rotc/
2. Click on Scholarships (Left hand side of page)
3. Click on High School Students (Bottom of page)
4. Click on Download an Application (Bottom of Page)
5. Fill out the application (to include writing your essay)
6. Follow Steps 1 – 3 again
7. Click on “Take the Next Step: Create an Account”
8. After creating your account, submit your application electronically

What do Army ROTC Scholarships include??
Full Tuition and Fees (Regardless of school)
$1200 a year for books and supplies
A monthly Tax free stipend (paycheck)
Freshman – $300
Sophomore – $350
Junior – $450
Senior – $500
**The Tax free stipend is also available to all non-scholarship Cadets
enrolled in the Army ROTC Advanced Course (third and fourth year)**

REQUIREMENTS
Be a U.S. citizen
Be between the ages of 17 and 26
Have a high school GPA of at least 2.50
Have a high school diploma or equivalent
Score a minimum of 920 on the SAT (math/verbal) or 19 on the ACT (excluding
the required writing test scores)
Meet physical standards (DODMERB Physical: https://dodmerb.tricare.osd.mil/)
to see what can disqualify you on the left hand tab bar click on Medical
Codes)
Agree to accept a commission and serve in the Army on Active Duty or in a
Reserve Component (Army Reserve or Army National Guard)

COMMITMENT
An eight-year service commitment with the Army.
Serve full time in the Army for three years (non-scholarship) or four years
(Scholarship) and four/five years with the Individual Ready Reserve (IRR).
Selected Cadets may choose to serve part time in the Army Reserve or Army
National Guard while pursuing a civilian career (six years in a drill status
and two years with the IRR).

Kid’s With Asperger’s ARE Different

Amanda — Thu, 13 May 2010 10:33:50 +0000

I got an e-mail from my son’s teacher the other day saying that my son would be losing all of his recess yesterday for excessive talking. I replied that since we haven’t had our IEP meeting yet (it’s tomorrow) that if that’s what the teacher wanted to do, that’s fine – this time, but to remember that my child NEEDS recess, and without it, it only makes his behavior issues worse. Taking away his recess, especially on a rainy day, is shooting yourself in the foot. Of course I’ve also had three therapists tell me that my son shouldn’t have recess taken away (or any kid for that matter), but I’ve never been able to get an IEP or 504 plan until we got his Asperger syndrome diagnosis this year. In my e-mail I also suggested that the teacher start thinking of alternatives to missing recess, because this WILL be one of my sticking points during the IEP meeting. Yes, I was pissed. No kid should have recess taken away.

Then, THEN, my son relays that his teacher told him that “he’s no different from the other kids in the class.” EXCUSE ME? WHAT GLUE WERE YOU SNIFFING? Even my son BEFORE we had his diagnosis KNEW he was different from his peers. We now just have a name for it. He IS different. He can read better and do math facts faster than most of his 3rd grade class. He LOVES Star Wars and watching shows that show surgical procedures. He already finds his peers annoying and prefers to converse with older kids and adults. My son thinks literally and thinks in pictures. This literal thinking sometimes causes my son to be offended because he does take what you said word for word. Nuance is beyond his grasp right now. Tact is not a strong point either, but I kinda like that about him. I hope he never loses the ability to tell it like it is. My son doesn’t always make friends easily. Even when he does understand social convention, he sometimes ignores it because he doesn’t like it. Learning for him has to be relevant. If he doesn’t see how it will be useful to him, he’ll ask you why.

Just because you’re in a position of authority doesn’t mean you will automatically get respect from my son with Asperger’s. He has to trust you. Just like with anyone, respect is earned. He is capable of being robot-like and doing what’s expected of him, but he’s not truly happy about it.

I haven’t even touched on sensory issues. My son loves/hates certain textures of foods and clothes. He still likes to feel cocooned in a blanket when he’s stressed. He needs to fidget with his hands. In fact I have a feeling I’m going to get papers that looked like mine in school – filled with doodles in the margins, and that’s OK. And many more sensory things that I’m not going to bore you with here.

I’m not sure what his teacher thought to gain by telling my son that he’s not different from the other kids when he knows that he is. That’s certainly not incentive to him to stop some of his behaviors that the school wants him to stop. If anything, it’ll make him defiant on purpose now. Does she think he LIKES being different? He doesn’t. Does she think he likes being picked on by the other kids for things he doesn’t yet know how to control. He doesn’t. Does she think that my husband and I think it’s fun to spend all the time we do in therapy with him, and the extra time parenting at home? We don’t. We do it because we love him, and yes, there are certainly days we are guilty of wishing he WAS just like the other kids. But really at the end of the day, we wouldn’t change our son. We just want him to be able to freely grow and thrive to the best of his potential.

DON’T TELL ME OR MY SON THAT HE’S JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHER KIDS. EVEN HE AT 8 IS SMART ENOUGH TO SEE HE’S DIFFERENT. If you try to pigeon hole him into your predetermined box, you’re really going to have a hard time with the budding mischievous, authority questioning, and probably smarter than some of you as he gets older, student. When you ask me for advice with dealing with my child, and then don’t follow it, all I’m going to say is “I told you so.” I was that child to a lesser degree. I know what’s headed your way as a result.

*My son’s school district/school was also just recognized by our military installation for the work they do with the military kids who are students there. Let’s see if they can live up to that reputation tomorrow. From talking with other local parents, this school has a reputation for not taking care of students with special needs very well.