Teachers can be such an integral part of a child’s life and never know it. I know I had a few during my K-12 career that may never know how much they helped me – especially during some turbulent grade 9-12 years. Teachers don’t always know what a child’s home life is like. I went to a school where a lot of the kids came from middle to upper middle class homes. We were considered the “rich and snobby” school district. Appearances aren’t everything. I was expected to be perfect at home. B’s on my report card were unacceptable to my mother. At school, the kindness of those teachers who showed me that they believed in what I could do meant so much. I didn’t have to be perfect, but they did expect me to not slack. I didn’t mind the hard work. It felt good to accomplish goals. It was even better to have someone to help me along the way who didn’t tell me how worthless I was the whole time. Honestly, if I hadn’t wanted to please my teachers, I wouldn’t have done well in school at all because I certainly didn’t care what my mother thought of me at that point in my life since nothing I ever did was good enough for her.

For my son, he may not know it, but he’s already had a teacher who has been a great asset to him. His 3rd grade teacher this year. She is the ONLY teacher he’s had so far that saw his behavior issues as more than him just being a “problem child.” She even asked me about Asperger’s at our fall parent/teacher conference. It was so refreshing to have someone who was seeing what we were seeing at home. She has truly been instrumental in his diagnosis and IEP process this year.

Bing has an education site where parents can get some tips on how to actively participate in their child’s education. Even if you’re unable to physically volunteer in your child’s classroom, there are other things you can do. I think the most important thing parents can do is read the papers your child brings home and ask your child about their day. Even if you only get one word answers to your questions, the kids care that you ask and are interested. I forgot to ask one day, and my son asked me why. We just happened to be busy and I was focused elsewhere. I said “You hardly answer me anyway.” He said, “But I like that you ask.” Now I make it a point to try and ask as soon as he comes home.

If there’s a teacher who has touched your life, tell Bing, and they will give you $5 to give to a classroom project of your choice via DonorsChoose.org. DonorsChoose is a great way for teachers to try and bridge the gap in educational funding that exists today. Teachers submit their projects they need funds for, and donors can surf and choose which projects they’d like to fund. I was given a $100 DonorsChoose giving code to try DonorsChoose out for myself. I chose to split the code between two projects, and honestly, it was hard to not give more, but I wanted each project to get a good sum towards their goal. Both projects I chose because of my oldest son. They are projects that will help kids who fidget, or learn just a little differently than other students. This is my child. He constantly fidgets, and needs something to chew on or something to do with his hands at times so he can concentrate. He is also a very visual and hands on learner. I hope both of these teachers, and all of them on DonorsChoose, get their projects fully funded. I hope you will take a few minutes out of your day to visit the Bing education site and submit your own teacher story to donate your $5.

*I wrote this review while participating in a blog tour campaign by Mom Central on behalf of Bing and a $100 DonoseChoose.org giving code to facilitate my review. Mom Central also sent me a thank-you gift certificate.

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The process is now done for a year. Zach’s IEP has been written, and I’m OK with what was decided upon. My main goal was to meet Zach’s sensory issues for him. He really didn’t need any other curriculum changes, just needed his other needs addressed. I am disappointed that he didn’t qualify for the gifted program based on his inability to answer inference questions. The sections where it was fact question based, he scored very high. The sections with inference questions were SIGNIFICANTLY lower, thus dragging his whole score down. His teacher expressed that she’d like to see him in the gifted program, but as a parent all I can do is request that he be tested each year until his score is what they want (the numbers can change until age 12). His teacher will have more influence based on what she sees in the classroom. In the meantime, if he gets bored, he’ll just harass other students and the teacher (as he’s already done every year since Kindergarten).I will also be keeping an eye on the boredom issue. Zach is already learning that there are several tasks that take his peers much longer than it takes him to get the same result. I wish for him to aim for great things, not mediocrity.

We did have an incident last night where Zach tried to say he’ll never be good at handwriting because of his Asperger’s syndrome. I told him he still needs to practice because you can’t use a computer for everything in life. I also explained that there are several great minds that are thought to have Asperger’s syndrome, and it’s just not an excuse. I explained that while it garners him a little more understanding for some behaviors that he has to work really hard at, it’s not a reason to give up entirely.

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So what do you do? Follow this list compiled byMAJ Griffiths, X/O and MS2 instructor for the Department of Military Science at Shippensburg University.

How do I apply for an Army ROTC Scholarship?? Follow these steps
1. Go to this web site: http://www.goarmy.com/rotc/
2. Click on Scholarships (Left hand side of page)
3. Click on High School Students (Bottom of page)
4. Click on Download an Application (Bottom of Page)
5. Fill out the application (to include writing your essay)
6. Follow Steps 1 – 3 again
7. Click on “Take the Next Step: Create an Account”
8. After creating your account, submit your application electronically

What do Army ROTC Scholarships include??
Full Tuition and Fees (Regardless of school)
$1200 a year for books and supplies
A monthly Tax free stipend (paycheck)
Freshman – $300
Sophomore – $350
Junior – $450
Senior – $500
**The Tax free stipend is also available to all non-scholarship Cadets
enrolled in the Army ROTC Advanced Course (third and fourth year)**

REQUIREMENTS
Be a U.S. citizen
Be between the ages of 17 and 26
Have a high school GPA of at least 2.50
Have a high school diploma or equivalent
Score a minimum of 920 on the SAT (math/verbal) or 19 on the ACT (excluding
the required writing test scores)
Meet physical standards (DODMERB Physical: https://dodmerb.tricare.osd.mil/)
to see what can disqualify you on the left hand tab bar click on Medical
Codes)
Agree to accept a commission and serve in the Army on Active Duty or in a
Reserve Component (Army Reserve or Army National Guard)

COMMITMENT
An eight-year service commitment with the Army.
Serve full time in the Army for three years (non-scholarship) or four years
(Scholarship) and four/five years with the Individual Ready Reserve (IRR).
Selected Cadets may choose to serve part time in the Army Reserve or Army
National Guard while pursuing a civilian career (six years in a drill status
and two years with the IRR).

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I got an e-mail from my son’s teacher the other day saying that my son would be losing all of his recess yesterday for excessive talking. I replied that since we haven’t had our IEP meeting yet (it’s tomorrow) that if that’s what the teacher wanted to do, that’s fine – this time, but to remember that my child NEEDS recess, and without it, it only makes his behavior issues worse. Taking away his recess, especially on a rainy day, is shooting yourself in the foot. Of course I’ve also had three therapists tell me that my son shouldn’t have recess taken away (or any kid for that matter), but I’ve never been able to get an IEP or 504 plan until we got his Asperger syndrome diagnosis this year. In my e-mail I also suggested that the teacher start thinking of alternatives to missing recess, because this WILL be one of my sticking points during the IEP meeting. Yes, I was pissed. No kid should have recess taken away.

Then, THEN, my son relays that his teacher told him that “he’s no different from the other kids in the class.” EXCUSE ME? WHAT GLUE WERE YOU SNIFFING? Even my son BEFORE we had his diagnosis KNEW he was different from his peers. We now just have a name for it. He IS different. He can read better and do math facts faster than most of his 3rd grade class. He LOVES Star Wars and watching shows that show surgical procedures. He already finds his peers annoying and prefers to converse with older kids and adults. My son thinks literally and thinks in pictures. This literal thinking sometimes causes my son to be offended because he does take what you said word for word. Nuance is beyond his grasp right now. Tact is not a strong point either, but I kinda like that about him. I hope he never loses the ability to tell it like it is. My son doesn’t always make friends easily. Even when he does understand social convention, he sometimes ignores it because he doesn’t like it. Learning for him has to be relevant. If he doesn’t see how it will be useful to him, he’ll ask you why.

Just because you’re in a position of authority doesn’t mean you will automatically get respect from my son with Asperger’s. He has to trust you. Just like with anyone, respect is earned. He is capable of being robot-like and doing what’s expected of him, but he’s not truly happy about it.

I haven’t even touched on sensory issues. My son loves/hates certain textures of foods and clothes. He still likes to feel cocooned in a blanket when he’s stressed. He needs to fidget with his hands. In fact I have a feeling I’m going to get papers that looked like mine in school – filled with doodles in the margins, and that’s OK. And many more sensory things that I’m not going to bore you with here.

I’m not sure what his teacher thought to gain by telling my son that he’s not different from the other kids when he knows that he is. That’s certainly not incentive to him to stop some of his behaviors that the school wants him to stop. If anything, it’ll make him defiant on purpose now. Does she think he LIKES being different? He doesn’t. Does she think he likes being picked on by the other kids for things he doesn’t yet know how to control. He doesn’t. Does she think that my husband and I think it’s fun to spend all the time we do in therapy with him, and the extra time parenting at home? We don’t. We do it because we love him, and yes, there are certainly days we are guilty of wishing he WAS just like the other kids. But really at the end of the day, we wouldn’t change our son. We just want him to be able to freely grow and thrive to the best of his potential.

DON’T TELL ME OR MY SON THAT HE’S JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHER KIDS. EVEN HE AT 8 IS SMART ENOUGH TO SEE HE’S DIFFERENT. If you try to pigeon hole him into your predetermined box, you’re really going to have a hard time with the budding mischievous, authority questioning, and probably smarter than some of you as he gets older, student. When you ask me for advice with dealing with my child, and then don’t follow it, all I’m going to say is “I told you so.” I was that child to a lesser degree. I know what’s headed your way as a result.

*My son’s school district/school was also just recognized by our military installation for the work they do with the military kids who are students there. Let’s see if they can live up to that reputation tomorrow. From talking with other local parents, this school has a reputation for not taking care of students with special needs very well.

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Have you heard the phrase “Kids will be kids,” from your child’s school? Has it made you want to smack some sense into someone? I just read for the second time this month about a child being bullied at school. I’m tired of these schools saying they have a zero tolerance policy, and yet if you say something about your child being bullied, it’s “kids being kids.” Which is it? Do you have zero tolerance, or do you want zero responsibility?

EVERY year since my son started school he has been seen by his peers as different and has subsequently been picked on as a result. We now know a lot of this is due to his social awkwardness of his Asperger’s, but still. At his previous school it was so bad he said his stomach hurt. He did not want to go to school. Time and time again I would tell the teacher and the principal, but they wouldn’t do anything. Finally, our son had enough and just snapped. Of course they wanted to punish him, but I said “NO! We have TOLD YOU about these incidents. How much do you expect a child to take before they retaliate? He may not have handled it in the best way possible, but he’s told you, and we’ve told you this was happening and YOU did nothing to stop it. You WILL NOT punish him for standing up for himself when YOU would NOT help him.” And they didn’t because they knew I was right. They were turning a blind eye. When they asked me what they should tell the other parents if there were complaints against my son, I said, “Tell them the truth. Tell them THEIR child bullied my son so much and the SCHOOL did nothing to stop it. One day my son had enough and stood up for himself when no one else would listen. Maybe their kid learned something.”

We’re getting to that point in this school now. I’m waiting for the day I get the phone call that my son punched someone who just pushed him too far because the school is turning a blind eye. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve said there’s an issue.

I’m finding these attitudes at school are a direct result of parenting from at home – or lack thereof. Too many parents don’t want to see there’s an issue or want to be their child’s friend. I’m not here to be a friend. I’m here to try and raise two productive members of society. For example, a snowball fight that took place in our front yard this winter. I told the kids to stop because they hit the house. They continued and hit the house again. My husband went out there and yelled at them again. The other kids went and told their parents. The dad came over. Well, it was 4 kids against our one. Your kids are all older than our 8 year old, so do you REALLY want to have this argument? Of course being in Army housing a lot of these kids think because their daddies are LTCs and COLs they can do what they want. Too bad I don’t care who your daddy is. If you’re a brat, I’m going to call you out on it. Your daddy’s rank has nothing to do with your behavior except that a soldier of his rank should have better control over his kids in the eyes of the Army.

So parents, STOP TRYING TO BE YOUR CHILD’S BEST FRIEND. You’re not doing them any favors. You’re really doing them a disservice. Teach them what the word “No” means once in awhile. The world will collectively thank you.

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I always hesitate to purchase the packages from LifeTouch that the school offers. Their photographers seem to have always missed photography 101. In Kindergarten my son had art class before pictures and they had his whole shirt in the picture complete with white paint. In the first grade Spring pictures they used too much of a gaussian blur, a filter, a PS action, something, and it was blurry and my kid looked stoned. Every.single.frikken.year. he comes home with that fake smile.

This year I told my son to say an “M” word like “Monkey butts” to elicit a more natural smile. The photographer waned him to say “cheese.” Evidently an argument ensued between my third grader and the adult photographer, and my son refused to smile because he wasn’t going to fake smile because Mom said he’d “better not.” This is the resulting photo, and I’m keeping them because the story is hilarious. I laughed so hard when my son told it, I cried.

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School starts in a week from today. I can tell. My husband is busy with work. The early arrival kids come this week. My 8yo is acting like a fool on a constant basis. I think it’s nature’s way of making it less painful for me to see him go off on the bus in the mornings. We got the letter saying who his teacher is and her small list of requested supplies in Saturday’s mail. Of course I ran out on Sunday after reading the sales flyers to purchase what he needs. Dinners are easy on me this week. My husband won’t be home two nights due to incoming cadet events, and we have an Olive garden coupon we need to use before the 30th. That’s 3 nights I don’t really have to cook.

We’ve already been easing Zach into the bedtime routine for school. He did get a small increase in his lights out time. It was 7:30pm before. He’s gotten into the habit of reading, so we were kind enough to allow 8pm and see how ti goes. If he’s too tired when he comes home, then it’s back to 7:30pm. Poor kid. He gets so mad because there are other kids, some even younger than he is, still outside playing when he and his brother are getting ready for bed. He tries to argue how his friends all have later bedtimes. I also have to point out to him that I’ve talked with their parents, and while they have later bedtimes during the Summer and on weekends, those same friends of his also wake up significantly later than he does. It’s typical of my boys to be up by 7am. Most of their friends aren’t up before 8am. I had to explain that the hour of sleep in the morning makes a difference. Poor Zach.

This week also marks me setting my alarm and getting used to waking up by a certain time. I’ve been up early almost all summer, but for some reason it’s all different when I have to set the alarm to make sure I’m up. Why is that? If your kids haven’t started school yet, what are you doing to prepare?

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I wish I had something interesting to regale you with, but I just don’t. This week I am spending getting ready to travel 4 hours in the car with my two boys who normally can’t even make it to the grocery store in the car without me wanting to give them away to the first person I see. Today is Zach’s last full day of school so I have errands I want to run while I only have to take one kid with me. For some reason alone the kids are fine, but together it’s like taking the circus with me.

I don’t feel prepared for our trip at all. I feel like there’s so much that needs done, but in reality I know it’s just a matter of packing up the car and going. My biggest concern about our travels is really my sister’s wedding on Saturday. The wedding starts at noon. We’ll be leaving the place we’re staying early so we can grab a snack before we get there. The last thing we need is hungry kids during the ceremony. The worst part is that 1pm is naptime for our 2yo, so we’re already pushing limits. I just hope they understand if we don’t stay long. An early morning or late afternoon wedding would’ve been a better option. You’d think with a 1yo herself, my sister would have wanted to make sure her little girl gets a nap. We may have toddler meltdown x2 Saturday between my son and my niece. Fun times.

If you’re interested in the review and giveaway aspect I’ve added to my blog, be on the look out for a few in the coming week.

I’ll also have a before post of our dining room. The after post depends on if I can find table linens and seat cushions I like.

Summer vacation starts after the half day of school tomorrow. I just hope I’m not ready for a straight jacket by July.

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Today is my last day of freedom – maybe. We’re supposed to get snow, freezing rain, and some sleet nastiness right as day breaks. I’m hoping for nothing more than a 2hr delay if school delays at all. Today is the last day before Christmas break. Then we parents have our little heathens until January 5th. I’m so glad I’m not a teacher. Those kids are going to be all kinds of excited (like they haven’t been all hopped up on Santa already). Then they’re having their Christmas parties, so they’ll have sugar coursing through their veins in the afternoon. Not a combination I want times 20.

My husband went and had lunch with Zach at school yesterday and he said it was surprisingly better than he expected – the kids’ behavior, not the food. He also said he can see why our son hardly eats lunch. Zach is easily over stimulated and he just blabs most of his lunch period. I had figured as much.

I need to wrap presents today, or at least some of them. I hate being up until all hours Christmas Eve because I’m wrapping presents. It’s such a time consuming process, and it doesn’t seem to matter how many or how few gifts we have, it takes hours.

Last night we went to our favorite pizza place just so we could bring home some half baked pizzas to cook Christmas Eve. Then I dragged the family to look at lights on the way home. We found a couple good neighborhoods, but for the most part it was disappointing. I’ve noticed over the last 5 years or so, people just don’t put up the outdoor decorations like they did in years past. We were driving around post looking at what people put out and almost ended up at the General’s house – oops LOL. Good thing he was having a party because there was a cop at the end of the road to direct us.

I think Zach’s a little disappointed in our Christmas plans from the sound of them. I think he’ll appreciate them more on the actual day. Our Christmases generally go like this: wake up at the ass crack of dawn, open presents, DH makes pancakes, eat, kids play with toys, and we try not to pass out asleep. That’s pretty much our day until dinner. This year for dinner we made a family decision to have hoagies. I torture the kids with the turkey dinner on Thanksgiving, so I like to make something we’ll all eat on Christmas. Usually it’s alfredo, but we’ve been eating that fairly frequently lately while I perfect my recipe. But Zach just seemed disappointed that we don’t have to run here and there to see relatives and friends, and no one is coming here. I know once those gifts are open all he’ll want to do is play with his toys and not be bothered with anything else.

We also had to explain about leaving beer and cookies for Santa. I told Zach that most American children leave milk and cookies, so if he wants the good presents, leave beer. He was OK with that then. Then I explained (total BS by the way) that since we’re Irish, we generally leave Guinness and cookies, but I couldn’t find the Guinness this year. So it’s Yuengling Porter and cookies for Santa this Christmas. Not that he minds.

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Some things never change. My boys acting like wild zoo animals at the doctor’s office is one of them. Our allergist always says “Bless you.” in reference to my being the mother of these boys at least once during our visits LOL. We have one more doc appt down, I have no idea how many more to go.

I do know that today is Zach’s only full day of school this week. He missed Monday since we were at the clinic on post. I got him out early yesterday for the allergist here. Tomorrow is allergy shots and out early for those, and then Friday I’m getting him at 12:30pm. I had to fill out an educational field trip form for Friday. His class is celebrating Grandparents’ Day in the afternoon, and his can’t attend, so he’s not missing anything other than a sugar high. On the form I put “Zach will be leaving school at 12:30pm on Friday to go to The Army War College,…..” LOL I figured that sounded better than “I’m taking my kid out of school, his grades are excellent and if you want more details pay me child support to have a say in raising my child.” Or my first choice, “I’m taking my kid out of school on Friday. Kiss my ass.” I get so tired of the school trying to tell me how to raise my child. They weren’t the ones who had 45 minutes of stitches after pushing his fat head and linebacker shoulders out of their body. And I thought the whole War College thing sounded more educational than “We’re going to the new house.” That just happens to be where the new house is. I swear the guards at the gates already know me just form how much I was in and out over the weekend LOL. I should’ve gotten the guys donuts when I went to Dunkin Donuts Sunday. Next time.

And while I’m rambling, have I mentioned how much I love living on a secure post? Sure it’s a hassle to make sure I have my ID card out when I’m leaving my last destination before heading home, but so worth the security. It’s nice to know my neighbors aren’t pedophiles. Not to say stuff probably doesn’t happen now and then, but it’s just not like living off post. It’s a totally different world. You even see kids running amok around the neighborhoods like we did growing up. It’s nice.

OK, enough rambling and off to get some work done since this is the only day I don’t have to run anywhere.

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